Tag Archives: Role Models

23: When KWK Inspired Me

23 Jan

I just watched the KWK episode with Priyanka Chopra, and I think I’ve found a new role model to add to my list. Oh well, my notes, because I don’t have a list. I’ll admit to never really having liked her, not as an actor because I think she can act, but because she was everywhere, and in a way, that was annoying, and something I didn’t want in my face constantly. But some good has come from this couch show, and I think it’s that in all these years, and through all the things that have been said and not said about her, it was a breath of fresh air to hear her talk.

She made me realise so much that I’d either chosen not to see or missed seeing or was simply latent in me. It also got me thinking about the impact that portrayals can have on our perceptions. By that I mean, not once in all these years of her crossing the seas and breaking concrete, did I get to see from her words, her voice, her thoughts, or even in her silence, a glimpse of her reality. This noise so far, has only been that – noise. And perhaps it was a different kind of noise thing, because maybe that’s how it is abroad. We Indians are super noisy about a lot of stuff too, but in different mannerisms. But I’m not here to talk about cultural differences or white noise or even noise. What I saw on television, and keeping in mind that it was indeed a television show, I felt more realness speak than I’ve ever seen. She is yet another woman who is par strengths that so many of us dream to possess or realise we own.

Watching her on television today made me feel so good, and so proud, all together. How can a person, especially a woman, not feel good about seeing another out there, achieving things that, let’s admit, we at some point have wanted to do for ourselves? I won’t take the liberty to speak for anyone but myself, and I will confess quite matter-of-factly, that she has what I dream of having. And in that identification, I found inspiration. I aspire for goals that are my own, but which come from that same universal dream of getting there, being successful, and owning that success. Who doesn’t want that, after all? I fear failing, and I hate losing. Bumpy roads bring the demons out in me, as much as the awareness that most often success ironically mandates standing out, and therefore standing alone. Thinking of these things scare me, and therefore I do not allow these thoughts to gain strength or even a voice. I don’t think I’ve ever been so really moved and prodded by an episode on tv, except that gratitude/thanksgiving one on Oprah those many years ago.

The Priyanka Chopra I saw today, brought forth the many things I idolise in my world view, and maybe even reminded me to never put them on the back-burner, like I have in some cases.

Be busy working hard, and smart. Make no room for thoughts that debilitate this effort.
Never show the world the chink in your armour. Remember that you’re not perfect, and move on.
What is an obstacle now, will in time, and with experience, be water off your back. (I love this one!)
Each of us has our demons, which in turn have their own voices. Know when to let them talk, and when to silence them.
The world will always talk, irrespective. Keep walking. (I follow this, and believe in it a 100%)
In versatility lies the key of progression, just as change is always constant.
Boundaries are definitive in maintaining best health.
Silence is gold, even when it’s most tempting to give away.

Of course she’s said a lot of things and I’m clearly, but unapologetically bowled over. Enough inspiration and influence for one day, no? :)

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12: Thursday Thinking

12 Jan

For starters, I’m unable to check any of the notifications that pop up on my dashboard – I’ve no idea why. Ever since I’ve disabled the likes option, I get to see a list of likes, but am unable to check who these lovely likers are. That said, I’m trying not to let this itchy “secrecy” frustrate me. :P

Secondly, I haven’t watched Obama’s swan song even though it obviously went viral even before I got out of bed yesterday (BBC pinged me to say his speech was commencing just when I was walking towards the exit door from my land of dreams). It goes without saying that I do, indeed, want to dive into that tearjerker, and will eventually get myself to do so, but maybe when I’m more ready for it. However, even before all that, this guy has given me some serious, and I mean very serious, expectation issues from men, and husband to be specific. There does lie this eternal hope to maybe one day get this same, if not similar gratitude from my man in front of all and sundry. Hahaha! Well, we’re all allowed to dream, aren’t we? But seriously, that couple has given me, and most of the world I’m sure, some solid relationship goals. SOLID.

But here’s the nuance that I have to look into and consider wholeheartedly before I can even begin to harbour such dreams and expectations – and that is this one very crucial line he mentioned in his thanksgiving to his wife and family – “you took on a role you didn’t ask for, and made it your own with grace and grit and style and good humour.” Here’s that crux, that commitment, that compromise if you will, that’s sort of really made all the difference, no? And it makes the latent feminist in me keep quiet, and be still.

It was sometime back when my aunt very matter-of-factly and breezily called me a feminist. I don’t like that term, and neither do I like to associate my self with extremities in thought or action. It took me a little by surprise, and I won’t deny feeling a little proud of myself. Something that was sent my way as less of a compliment and as more of a fact to give me insight, did make my heart swell, to be honest. But that’s the thing I have with this thinking or terminology – I find it incomparably rigid, suffocating, and very binding; no matter how that jibe did indeed make me feel.

When I look at Michelle Obama, whom I do consider such a role model on many a front, there isn’t an ounce on her person or thought which speaks against standing up for oneself, or doing the things they believe in. However, she seems to have in her, the grace, strength, courage, and resilience to accept her circumstances and pave her path with all that she has. And that’s a remarkable quality I only wish I could have. It doesn’t involve screaming from rooftops about name changes post marriage, childbirth or bearing, or even something as overwhelming as stepping aside (a little or a lot) to find a new way forward. Generations of women have done exactly this, and I find it debilitating and often rude to label their silence or their choices as weak and spineless.

Of course there’s a difference between most, if not all Indian men, and Barrack Obama. And there’s a huge difference in all that we see, and all that really happens. But then again, I really wonder if a global mic to say thank you, is what drives or validates the beautiful strength, that is Michelle Obama’s personality and character. These are path-altering considerations for me to reflect on and pave my own journey with. Perhaps this is what, I think, real role models do, and I’m so thankful to have examples like these all around me.

7: Namaste To Yourself

7 Jan

Here’s a snippet of all things strong, healthy, positive, and progressive. I don’t have role models in my heart’s keep because I cannot idolize people for a strange reason. But if I ever was to have one, it would be her on many counts. She speaks to the person in me, the woman in me. She challenges the cynic and negative in me. She throws light on the realist and wannabe optimist in me, she really does. But most of all, she gives me the space, courage, strength, and hope to believe in myself.

And these words were exactly what I’ve been desperate to hear, which I’m sharing with you, dear reader.

 

It was just yesterday when I came across this most simple yet gratifying concept, and thought – of giving thanks to yourself, always. For someone who berates herself more often than not, criticises herself for not being strong or confident enough – all patterns of the two conflicting versions of myself (one which I really am and one which I idealize myself to be) – encountering this uncomplicated habit was quite uplifting. I mention it in tandem with Michelle Obama’s speech because I believe that every journey, every attempt, and every move begins with one’s own self. And it beats me how a lot of us never give ourselves that pat on our back, that extra glance in the mirror, that appraisal without feeling selfish or self-centred. I’ve no idea what or which day I’m waiting to do this for and to myself. Absolutely clueless.

I’ve shared this image before but cannot seem to find it on my blog for some vague reason. Here it is.

namaste

It speaks a million words, a million thoughts, and a million truths. Namaste to you, and namaste to me too. :)

On another note, I’ve miraculously managed to finish a week’s worth of posts…waow! *happy jig*

And the things I’ve learnt this week are:

Show up.

Start.

Give your heart the mic equally.

Thank yourself.

Have a lovely weekend, peeps! :)