Tag Archives: Joy

154: Snapshots So Far

3 Jun

Some experiences are best described without words. 

Here are some of mine so far, and I’m letting these pictures do all the talking. 

Banana chips and post-dinner conversations


Saris, dosas, window shopping in Commercial Street.

Friday afternoons with family and these eyes

Impromptu visits, conversations, and homemade fish fry and prawn curry meals

Sunny, windy, shade-laden walks under these gentle giants

Andhra meals, laughter, and bubbly fresh lime sodas

Relaxing with baking

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75: Small Things

16 Mar

I’m a collector of small things in the guise of (what most normal people would consider) trash or scraps (to be kinder), and memories, of course. I’ll leave the former out for now, because you really don’t want to know about the tissues and leaves and sand and other random stuff I collect for “memory’s” sake. However, here are some of the smaller things I’ve completely fallen head over heels in love with, only because they’re more precious to me than anything else.

Going all the way to the railway station with A even if that means studying enroute to prepare for my class the next day only because I love going on drives with him the most.

Falling asleep on his lap by chance (I passed out at an odd 8pm last evening, which I hope is the last and final after effect of the stuff we had on Holi).

Sitting with each other every morning; him poring over the newspaper, and me asking him to share news updates with me as he reads, while we sip our tea.

Couch-potato-ing as we watch tv series together.

Chatting with each other till we fall asleep. Wait, I’m the one who chatters away, and he, I think, secretly sleeps in between. :|

My favourite has to be waking up to a cup of tea made by him. Of course it’s another thing that it isn’t delivered with love in bed, but that I’ve to drag my ass to the table to get it. :P

The Small Things We Do – II

6 Jul

I was proceeding to write about the small things we do and that often stay back in the happy recesses of my mind, when it struck me that I have more than one blog post about the small things we do on a regular basis. It turns out that it’s the small things that really make my world go round in more ways than I have actually comprehended, some of them reflecting on the things I write about from time to time. This was from the last time.

Sometimes I actively seek them out, sometimes I wait in patience for them and sometimes I’m taken by surprise at their arrival; these small things. It was when we were in bed last night and were drifting off to sleep when this post nestled itself in my mind, ready to wake up today. The feeling of experiencing your heart surge with pure love and joy, one that you cannot equate or really measure to anything else, is beyond special.

Never have I felt as much excitement at the arrival of monsoons, than I have this year. With it raining everywhere in the country and with it having been announced even in the papers, the thrill of finally being able to come alive and feeling rejuvenated was one that I could hardly wait for. The weather has featured a lot in my talk and my preoccupation with what exactly to complement it by. Food, of course, is one eternal feature that has an attire for every day, every weather condition, every season. Food never disappoints. We woke up to a relatively cooler morning, last Saturday. It didn’t feel cloggy, overpowering or stifling. And so I treated us to this gem which we savoured with our cups of chai, silence and meditation of sorts. The feeling still resides in me and is one I hope to evoke as much and as often as I can. We welcomed the official arrival of monsoon with this:

It was a very welcome change for both my husband and I, as we went about our own Saturday morning business, with this on and armed with our hot bevvys. Music, they say, is the universal language of everything, and truer words have never been spoken. Music is magic and magic is music. 

That was where the tone and the conception of this post made itself present and lingered on till it took shape in my mind, ready to arrive here. The small things we do make me want to capture them in my mind’s eye and hold on to them forever.

Whether it’s falling asleep to the banter of each other’s voice, or
using the other as a pillow for your leg especially, nestling your foot in crevices that fit perfectly.

Whether it’s playing running and catching just for a hug, or
to have the last slap on the other’s back.

Whether it’s making up with unexpected desserts (because one of us loves desserts at any and all times), or
strengthening one’s argument with a specially prepared meal.

Whether it’s keeping the other’s bottle in the fridge so they can have cold water on the go (because one of us seldom picks up after themselves), or
making the bed without being told.

Whether it’s about buying the biggest pack of Parle-G biscuits (because one of us cannot do without Parle-G with their tea), or
buying chocolates or extra packs of fruit yoghurt without prior planning.

Whether it’s about walking out of a hellish kitchen complete with sweat and irritation to a freshly opened bottle of chilled beer, or
waking up to hot chai that is not too milky or heavy or weak.

I love the small things we do.

I love the small things we do for each other and the small things we do for ourselves.

The half an hour of precious quiet time when I can savour my cup of tea/coffee every morning…
The book I can pore over in bed before we turn in for the night…
The endless conversations, irrespective of whether you’re being heard or not…but which you make sure result in your being heard by sneaking in tricky question and answer games or that customary ‘are you listening to me? Yes. Then why can’t you respond?!’ check…
The mindless Over The Phone banter I have with my girlfriends, lying spread-eagle on the bed, without a care in the world…
The occasional staring at my washing machine as the laundry is being done just so it locks in my sense of satisfaction…
The sporadic walks I gift myself when the limbs, mind and body need fresh air…
Oh, and the latest – the fulfilling of what feels like an endless chicken hakka noodle craving…

They really aren’t huge, fancy, dress-up, or even expensive things; not that I’d ever condemn the occasional fanciness. But it’s a good mix so far. Sometimes I lean over to the idea that I’m the more caring one and even try to push my husband into complying with that idea. But of course we know how that turns out. Haha!

As of now, I’m ready to do the smallest of things to just make the skies open up and give us that relief. A friend asked me how the monsoons are, to which I said they’re fake. They’ve arrived minus any rain. What kinda monsoon is that?! But I’m still holding on to my (bleak) sense of hope and chugging along, just waiting for this week to pass and be done with.

There are too many small and big things lined up for the next week and the wait is unbearable.

Notes

4 Mar

I’m almost always thirsty for anything and everything that will give me my shot of peace, quiet and positivity; often-times behaving like this crazy sponge who will reach out for just about whatever it can soak up just to feel a little full, a little complete again. I wonder where all that I desperately soak up, goes, and so fast, because I’ve never been this thirsty before. Never.

Through my multitude searches, I’ve managed to make some mental notes and checks – markers that I hope to stumble upon every time I walk down this much sought after path – to feel more prepared than the last time I visited that very same place. Sometimes it works; I can see it. At most other times, my notes lay crumpled, erased, forgotten, and even strewn around from the violent storms of my very own overpowering thoughts. Every day is a battle. And every day is a choice I find myself making between picking a battle versus settling for whatever I have or with whatever I do not have.

It is hard, but I am doing it because these are the only choices I have right now. The feeling isn’t as limiting, as it is overwhelming.

Here are some notes or reminders that I’ve made for my very own self over the last few days:

  • Time isn’t waiting, and neither must you. If you miss one bus, one moment, make sure you’re ready for the next. It will not wait. It never has. It really never will.
  • Not fighting a battle doesn’t make you weak, no matter how much your mind may urge you to believe otherwise.
  • Starting all over again may be the only choice over stagnation. Take it, no matter how debilitating, tiring, stressful and sometimes humiliating, it may feel.
  • Peace is not going to come from all the plans to feel at peace that you made. It only shows you’re not at peace with what you already have. And what you do not have right now has never made a promise or an assurance to come your way anyway.
  • Turn to something higher, something bigger, something more all-encompassing and just surrender. Not every bag needs to be carried on your shoulder.
  • Surrendering and letting go in no way implies that you’ll get what you want, but only implies that you’re short of one bag to carry should you have really, actually let go of it.
  • Be selfish for your own self. You are responsible for your happiness, sadness and for your own peace – an empty cup can never give.
  • Do not mistake patience for promises. Accept patience for what it really is.