Tag Archives: Inertia

177: Alone

27 Jun

A’s at work and I find myself alone at home, and with myself, after a good 26 days. That’s a long, long time. I don’t know what to do with myself, to be honest. I still have a few days of summer break left and I’d love to cash in on them as much as I can. However, wherever I look, there’s a house that’s screaming to be cleaned and looked after. The one thing I despise is unpacking and resetting my life to its routine. If I know myself, I will let the bags be till I really need to keep them away or till I can’t stand the sight of them anymore; whichever happens first. I suffer from a not so rare form of laziness that just does not permit me to act swiftly in these matters. The sight of an unkempt house irks me no end, however the inertia to do anything about it is always greater than this feeling. Therefore I do the inevitable – turn a blind eye towards the suitcase and the bags that are lying in an almost askance fashion, right.in.my.living.room.

UGH.

But heyyyy tv shows and tandoori chicken, I’ve missed youuuu.

On A Random Note

8 Nov

My laptop’s functioning is back, the headspace to write isn’t quite there yet.
The feeling of home cuddled up to me over the weekend, and it felt oddly comforting even though the two of us were doing nothing in own way. Unless of course sleeping and day dreaming interspersed with reading count as actual things.
It’s going to be a year since I left Bangalore, and a year since so so much happened. Headspace, please make room.
I remember last November as if it were someone else’s life. She was all over the place, busy gathering memories and unearthing old ones that lay in the many many things she had collected and strewn around in her house. Memories were also being gathered in finding stillness and being still.
Leaving made way for arriving; and while I’m still unclear whether I’ve arrived a 100%, I know I’ve left. Confusing no.
The two of us have come a long, long, way. There’s so much more ground to cover, but it doesn’t look as difficult as my denial once led me to believe. Change is so harsh.
I turned 30 and it has been eventful from the word go. A birthday, an NDE, my favourite festival, my brother making it all the way to be here with us on said festival, watching a football match and how!, experiencing peace amid intense stress – it has been all that and more.
Also, we’ve witnessed and still are experiencing the effects of proper environmental distress. You must’ve heard about NCR’s scary smog scenario no? It’s real and those eye burns are real too.
There’s so much going on and yet it feels like I’m free; therefore being clueless about which void all this is disappearing into. Maybe it’s a block or maybe I just feel the need to be away and just not exercise traffic rules in my head.
Life’s good. And life’s so different. I’m already trying not to look askance about this whole shindig. Maybe once my thoughts and words are in order, I hope to be more clear.