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155: Sundays Of A Different Kind

4 Jun

This was spent sitting on a wooden seat at St. Patrick’s Church during Sunday mass, taking in Sunday mornings from a different perspective. 


It was followed by this debauchery with R, over conversations, laughter, reminiscing, and joy. 


Apt for a Bangalore Sunday morning after a long time. :)

Now on to the match!

152: Homeward Bound

1 Jun

I’m off to Bangalore for a short while, dear friends. It’s a break I have been looking forward to, naturally, and now that it’s time to leave (yes, I’m writing this after my successful book hunt at the airport – I picked up Maharani Gayatri Devi’s memoirs), the wait has become even more unbearable. What once used to take us days to reach by train, now takes us not more than 3 hours – we’re fortunate; but now even these three hours feel like a lifetime. My check-in was smoother than I’d imagined at this hour – and everything went off with a happy, genuine smile from both sides – from the lady at the check-in counter to the lady at security check to my coffee waitress. It’s a great way to begin a day, that’s for sure.

I hope to be able to write regularly, but there might be more cheating involved during this period than I’d like to acknowledge. I’m referring to blog cheating and food cheating, of course. Sometimes it is hard to draw the line between these secondary forces that pull me to Bangalore – is it the food, the weather, the memories, the walk back in time?, because the one thing I focus a lot on, is food. I’ll write more about memories on a later post; but food really seems to take precedence. Going back to what I was saying is that I hope I can maintain this venture while I’m busy stuffing my face with the madness Bangalore has to offer.

See you on the other side, dear reader! Have a pleasant and colourful June! :)

149: A Day In The Lives Of Most Of Us

29 May

I woke up very early for a Sunday. Given that I had to go in to work as well, it felt oddly fine to get out of bed before 7am; after all, there’d just be more time to do the things I’d wanted to do. Sunday mornings, according to me, ought to be spent savouring the best the weekend has to offer – it’s quiet, it’s peaceful, it’s pleasant, it’s the calm you need before the rush of yet another week begins. Therefore, in order for my Sunday to be perfect, it needs to be hearty in a subtle, non-overpowering way. For that, I have always imagined either sipping my tea whilst inhaling the aromas of a freshly baked cake rising in the oven or while digging into said warm cake as I have my tea. There’d also be the ambient sounds of chirping birds, the rustle of a newspaper, the crack of a biscuit or two (though they don’t really feature in this act when there’s cake around), minimal conversation, and perhaps the subtle seduction of a guitar playing in the background as well. I achieved some of this yesterday; except there wasn’t any cake fluffing up in the oven because I’d run out of baking powder and hadn’t bothered remembering to get a new bottle. I sought the company of my blog instead, when I still had tea to drink and was done with my papers.

Today was a different set-up. It did involve the appropriation of my Sunday morning fantasies, except, it looked and felt a little like this; something that may be all too familiar to you as well.

Please note that this is the dream I was trying to achieve – sipping on my cup of tea with A, while reading the newspaper in the ambience of chirping birds and the aroma of a cake.

I woke up and by default put on some water to boil for tea. In the meantime, I got the ingredients for my cake ready, and was just about to start on this process when; and I will use the now atrociously common phrase “but first let me…” (not take a selfie, but…)

…add milk to this boiling water for my tea.
…scoop this cream that’s collected on top of this bowl of milk and keep it aside.
…gather all the cream I’ve been collecting and make some ghee (clarified butter) out of it, since I already have the cream at hand.
…turn the tea off (it was done by then and was listlessly boiling away and becoming too strong for our liking)
…get the process of ghee-making started
…put my cake batter together
…oil my hair so I can let it rest while I have my tea, leaving me with enough time to wash it once tea is done.
…turn the tea back on (it had cooled down by now)
…wake A up, because I’ve become his alarm clock now.
…get our tea and biscuits on the table (the cake was in the oven)
…say hello to my plants which are now outside my house (as A opened the door to get the newspaper)
…read while I have my tea
…but wait, let me Instagram this perfect moment
…skim the ghee off the kadhai (wok)
…enjoy my tea-time. Babska, enjoy the present moment, always.

This is endless. This happens to each of us. This has become a regular feature of my life which, if given precedence over everything else, takes over my ability to do one thing at a time (is that necessarily a bad thing?!, you’d ask), or anything else that I might wish to do (like sleep, for example).

Some may call it the ants-in-my-pants syndrome; I just call it the this-domestication-gives-two-fucks-about-living-life-in-the-moment. Sigh.

Having said that, I did end up having my (still) hot tea with biscuits, as I instagrammed a photograph and then proceeded on to read, while enjoying the ambience of birds, the rustle of trees, the shuffle of the newspaper, and the smell of freshly baked cake and homemade ghee that was bubbling away, all in the company of A. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead, and a great Monday today. :)

136: Dissociation

16 May

Dissociate (v.): to severe, to separate, to cut, to remove.

I just walked out of class talking about a certain classification of psychological disorders that fall under this category. And yet time and again, I find myself unable to do the same between my work and me. If flitting from one classroom to the other, inflicting one scolding after the other, taking one lesson after the other, being present continuously one after the other isn’t enough, I find my waking and sleeping zones plagued with all of this clutter too.

I can’t seem to dissociate.

I’m trying, but it’s taking much longer than I thought.

From ceasing bringing work home (as much as a teacher possibly can) to physically shutting every single work-related thought out of my way at home, it’s a monumental effort that’s not effortless at all.

It’s so easy to cut, break off, walk away. But I have no idea what the key to this severance is, if at all.

133: Friday Feels and Saturday Spiels

13 May

I didn’t, or couldn’t write much at all yesterday because I had a dinner party to huff about even though it was clear that there was no cooking on my part to do. Barring throwing some fries into the fryer, ensuring we had enough ice to soothe six summer parched party souls on a Friday night, keeping the beers in our fridge chilled the way my family likes it (though that was A’s job to take care of), and figuring out where we wanted to order from, there wasn’t anything else I had to do really. Except, I still was flitting around in those feels (also why I posted the picture I did, yesterday).

And that’s because the host in me, and more importantly, the dessert-maker in me couldn’t digest the fact that I hadn’t got anything to offer my family who was spending dinner with us yesterday. It’s a blasphemous thought, especially when I’m everywhere on social media when I bake, and nowhere when I have guests over. So in went a stack of mousses that I’d infused with coffee and layered with toffee cake crumble, ready to set for when it’d be time for dessert.

Except they hadn’t set or weren’t even close to setting. To be fair, it wasn’t a dessert to be made on short notice, and expect to set especially quickly under the summer circumstances that we currently are in. 45 degrees is no joke. Anyhoo, a prompt banana sponge was baked which not just added some literal cushioning to my semi-solid but beautiful mousse, but also made my house smell like it was the place to be on a Friday evening. I promise there isn’t a more inviting smell than that of freshly made food.

I’ve no idea where the evening went – before I knew it, it was past midnight and we’d packed my tipsy happy family in their car back home. We have leftovers to party with today, so there will be no cooking whatsoever; just shameless after-party binging of butter chicken, butter naan, chilled sirke waale pyaaz (pickled onions in vinegar), and of course some beer and tv to go along with it.

I reckon this is how some weekends ought to be. With exercise, which A and I seem to be avoiding like the plague. What a killjoy that was.

122: Impromptu

2 May

In being caught up with my work and owing to the nature of my work, drawing lines and boundaries becomes both necessary and difficult. I’ve failed a 100% at leaving work in school just as how successfully I’ve managed to leave home out of my work. It’s not where I imagined being and neither is where I want to be. 

Yesterday was so overwhelmingly exhausting that it showed on me before I could realise it. A couple of my colleagues asked me if all was well, which I affirmed. 

And then I couldn’t get out of bed today. It has been everything and all that put together in a nasty combination of fatigue. I’d say a lot of me is taking undue and unnecessary stress; a hazard that met its fate soon enough. An impromptu leave to recoup was requisitioned post which I woke up only to a phone call from work a couple of hours later. 

My husband made us tea and breakfast, which was a treat. The day has passed, during which I did nothing else. Yet it feels like I’ve been up to my nose in work and tasks, as if to jab at my sense of productivity. 

Couple that with being in an antsy and crabby mood, and it has turned out to be a break of sorts. When did I get so caught up to feel this useless and irritable about things in general? Classic signs of stress and burning out, if I were to diagnose myself. 

Too much for an impromptu late evening walk to salvage, either. Sigh. 

118: Family Fridays

28 Apr

If there’s anything more special than family time, do let me know because most of me cannot see beyond family and spending time with them. Mine was spent sprawled on the floor carpet with my youngest sister, twirling our hair in the fan’s breeze while listening to stories interspersed with random acts of social media stalking. It was followed by giggles, tea which we ordered from outside and savoured with bun bhujia, and just being lazy. Perfect summer afternoons, if you ask me.

I wouldn’t ask for more. Not one thing more, not one thing less. :)

112: Of Weekends With No Time

22 Apr

Today was one of those Saturdays that didn’t feel like one. For starters, the two of us went to work, which, for now, seems like something we’re making a part of our lives, just like the million others out there who work on every single Saturday. Top that with time for nothing else but to collapse and de-heat our minds and bodies, and we were done with yet another precious weekender.

It’s been a day of tremendous running around, and it’s been a day where my routine has gone out the window. No groceries, no weekly preps, no nothing has happened. The once upon a time me would’ve cared and panicked. Now I couldn’t care about tomorrow any more. We’ll see it when it gets here.

For now, I’m slinking into some stress-relieving tv shows, and a chicken curry rice meal I made somewhere between post lunch and tea-time, in record time. This is my comfort for today – to just be with whatever I have.

106: Ostrich Situation, Again

16 Apr

It’s Sunday, and I’m trying not to mourn the loss of a beautifully perfect weekend. There was relaxation, food, laughter, games of cards, music, soft lights, cold drinks on ice, gardening, eating, sleeping, and wrapping up the loose ends of the week that was. It was perfection like most things seldom are; not that seeking perfection is an ideal or even a goal.

Thoughts about tomorrow do make sneaky appearances into my mind’s space from time to time; thoughts which I drown by sticking my head into things that’ll help speed their disappearance. They pry their way when I’m prepping for the upcoming week or when I’ve chosen to watch just another episode of DS instead of finishing what’s at hand.

And it’d be a shame to allow this to ruin an otherwise magical weekend, wouldn’t it?

105: Support-less Saturdays

15 Apr

We’ve been on a relaxing spree, I tell you. Neither did we go rushing off for a short weekend getaway, and neither did we make any grand plans in this sweltering heat to “make the most of this long weekend”. We simply stay put, ordered in, took cold water showers, powdered ourselves, and spread out to watch this new tv show A discovered – Designated Survivor. You’ve watched it? We were hooked on to it (even though some parts of it are astoundingly ridiculous) and we’re powering through it, one 60-minute episode at a time.

It was also today that I re-discovered the joy of letting my ladies loose and just easing into this maddening chaos that is summer. I’ll tell you that this joy is simply unparalleled. And it’s a sense of freedom like nothing else is. There’s no perfect way than to embrace this season, I’m certain. Couple than with endless cool drinks on the rocks, lying spreadeagled on the floor under the fan, and watching the sun’s rays sneak in through our dancing blinds, and it all fits. I think I’ll carry this on to tomorrow as well, because that’s just how long, relaxing weekends at home ought to be. :)