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187: The Nowhere Post

22 Aug

Hello dear reader, I hope things have been ahmayzing at your end and I trust that all is well. All’s good on my side of the turf, too. :)

It’s super safe to say that I’ve done wonders to this challenge by disappearing, and for the length of time that I have. It was a mixed bag complete with losing my mojo to write, being preoccupied with a hoard of other things, and then just losing track altogether. I’m not sure I can make up for the lost time and posts, but I’m leaving that to the writing and blogging Gods, and my willingness to bid laziness goodbye.

This was just a random resurface post; a small hi, hope all’s well post.

Till later. :)

186: Little Conversations And Happy Vibes

6 Jul

It was yesterday while at school that it struck me how surrounded I am by different people. While my students put up what was perhaps the best assembly so far this year, I watched on like a proud class teacher would, and felt a connection with them for the first time I think. They picked the very apt, very relatable, very important topic “self-acceptance” and delivered a marvellous job which only spoke to hard work, effort, and a great connection with the subject. As the audience stood in rapt attention lapping up all they had to offer, my kids ladled praises that came their way. Much deserved and worthy of bragging, most definitely.

I’m not a very social person or a very open person. My walls are high, my boundaries very marked. I don’t cross lines and no one crosses mine; not beyond a point i.e. But I’ve been noticing this uncanny phenomenon which has been happening off late that can only be attributed to kids and their ability, to either lovingly or annoyingly, gnaw their way into a person’s heart. I’ve a varied bunch of kids from all walks of life – they’re all amazing in their own way, and equally challenging to handle.

They’ve slowly but surely started inching closer towards me, and I towards them. Professionally, of course. And somewhere in this entire process I’m reminded about just how many variant vibes I’m surrounded by – happy, jovial, youthful, energetic, humourous, beautiful vibes. I’ve been having conversations with myself, telling myself good things, even. Opening up to these youngsters all around me has helped me take these little conversations to another level; to open my eyes and see that there’s so much good energy all around me to sponge off from, to give to, to engage with.

People are strange.

But magic is stranger.

185: …

5 Jul

Ma left for Bangalore this morning. The guest bedroom is lifeless, the sheets perfect, the bed made, her purse and bags missing…just traces of her presence left behind every single where.

I hate saying bye; it’s something I despise immensely. Perhaps it’s a good thing I couldn’t get to spend as much time with her this morning since we were all getting ready to leave. As her cab moved along, all I felt was a sense of loss – of seeing her happy, smiling face everywhere; of just being in her solidly strong presence.

Thankfully there was a hectic day at school that took over everything else. I managed to sponge off some positivity from my students as we shared our thoughts and feelings before beginning our day.

She left behind, among pieces of advice, love, strength and joy, this book I almost picked up at a store but kept for later instead – Rabindranath Tagore’s autobiography – which is a keep.

His work is beyond classical and beautiful, something I thoroughly enjoy poring over bit by bit.

“Let your life lightly dance on the edges of
Time like dew on the tip of a leaf.”

184: Do You Know…

4 Jul

…that everything’s going to be alright? That it never was anything but alright all this while? That it takes a special kind of understanding to feel at peace, to come to terms with life’s ways, to essentially let go?

Do you know that the world conspires to put things together – sometimes with a small prayer, sometimes by its own volition?

Do you know that you’re safe, loved, trusted to be the best and only the best?

Do you also know that perhaps there’s no one better than you to do what you’re supposed to do?

:)

183: Mondays Are For Moaning

3 Jul

…especially when the countless Mondays before have been without alarms, work, deadlines, schedules.

My mind is in some sort of obvious denial about this rather harsh reality that has dawned upon it like a rude shock. While a small secret part of me is happy to be back to a routine, a large part of me has never felt more inert. Students and teachers alike were more zombies than people at a place which means serious business. What’s even more annoying is this pile of work that’s multiplied on top of my head because I avoided it all summer, because who does office work on holiday eh? I’m facing the brunt of all that grand procrastination now and it certainly doesn’t feel pleasant…but procrastination never did, so.

Since ma’s here, we’ve been spending time at my aunt’s which means extra full family time, which is always lovely. But again, that’s all this Monday has the best of.

182: Ma’s Touch

2 Jul

After what was an almost full day of work on a Saturday, I came back home to a freshly made and piping hot lunch courtesy ma. The table was laid with the spread adoring it lovingly. Dal, chawal, sabzi, raita, salad, rotis, pickle, chutney… it’s the biggest treat to have these burdens taken off your shoulders for even one day. I can’t be more thankful, really.

After a much needed siesta post lunch, we were off to my aunt’s for a Saturday night in, complete with good food, laughs, and company as always. Who says familying isn’t partying?

Tomorrow’s a brand new day and session, a final rude reminder that my holidays are over for a long time to come. But I prefer wallowing in the madness and beauty that was yesterday. :)

181: Defining Normalcy

1 Jul

When we went to receive ma late last night, the first thing she did after hug me is scold me for coming all the way to receive her at the hour that we did. It was followed by a barrage of some more scoldings which invariably led me to snap at her. Of course she means well and is only perpetually concerned, which she expresses in the way she does. However, that ended up in a quick tiff, which I’ve come to accept as normal. I’ve come to learn that this is how the women in my family show love and concern. This; and via food.

I’m not going to be surprised if we have numerous more tiffs during this short visit of hers.

Sigh.

180: Final Friday

30 Jun

The finale of my holiday is here and how. Where my summer sped off to is beyond me – if summer can fly away i.e.

I’m back at work tomorrow, which is a cruel joke to play – who works on the weekend before their work begins?!

But the highlight, the silver lining of it all is that ma’s arriving tonight. I’m looking forward to spending time with her from whatever I can salvage. But no matter what, the idea of meeting ma makes up for everything else that seems ugly to my mind right now.

I hope you’re having a beautiful Friday and an even better EoW!

179: Currently Trippin’ On

29 Jun

So I found Katrina Kaif exercising to this song and I immediately asked my brother to Shazam it because I loved it at first hear.

Put this on class speakers and trust me it’s doubly sick!

I heard it on loop and then some more – which goes to say (without really saying it) that I love it.

Enjoy!

 

 

178: Bangalore, This Time

28 Jun

I’ve been wanting to do a look-back on my trip to Bangalore this summer because it’s been different than all the others I’ve had so far. What highlights my summary of it was the fact that it was restrained this time. Little did I scurry from place to place, desperately trying to grab on to opportunities for memories. Seldom did the idea of restaurant-hopping make itself dominant (unlike the other trips). It just didn’t really obsessively revolve around food even though I did manage to have all that I always go to Bangalore to have. This time I even added brownie points in the form of an Andhra meal, and crab ghee roast.

It was also a time when I decided to stay put at home and prioritise the concept of resting more than I would have, ordinarily. There was an active effort invested in saying no, staying in, letting go, even if that meant sitting with family and doing nothing over traipsing across town to meet and catch up with friends.

I also didn’t really have the energy to do as much. However, we did throw in the usual trips to Commercial street and the tailors. Ma and I made additional time to hop over to Cubbon Park (while it rained) – something we’ve never done in the longest time.

There’s something very calm, collected, and yes, restrained. There was no urgency, no hurriedness, no desperation. It felt ample in all that we did and chose not to do. It couldn’t have felt more perfect. :)