71: Blurry Lines

12 Mar

Where most of my Sunday went, I don’t know. How I spent my Sunday, I don’t know. What I did, I really don’t know. Sometimes everything around me feels like a blur; a blur of what I’m doing, what has to be done, and with pieces of this explosive chaos just hovering around me, waiting for an opportune moment to cross my path.

Half of March is nearly over and when I look back, it’s more astonishing than surreal. Somewhere along the way, I picked a planner up for myself (it really worked wonders during my previous job)…and the days so far remain unmarked, in the hope for some more organisation on my part.

Holi’s tomorrow, and sometimes it feels like I take more on to my plate than I should…maybe this innate need to do everything I fancy is stronger than I thought. A lot of me has to learn to break that assumption; that doing more equates more by default. It isn’t true.

My lessons haven’t been planned for the upcoming week, my festive goodies are more deflated than my will (I don’t even know whether that’s a good thing or not, at the moment), and I’m slinking around my own space in a general state of exhaustion and numbness to an extent. It helps, sometimes. But right now, all I see are blurry lines everywhere.

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