38: Hostessing

7 Feb

After our visit to my in-laws in Agra, I had my immediate in-laws over to stay with us. They left just yesterday and what a week it has been. I won’t deny not having the time to check my phone or to sit down to write, but it’s hard to put my thoughts together or even write when I have people around, especially family. I consider it rude to sit in front of the laptop or phone; partly because I’m still unable to strike that balance between me time and together time, but mostly because I didn’t want to find that balance.

The first thing that comes to my mind is how panicked I feel when I have guests over. Of course the game plan changes when you have your in-laws visiting, no? It’s this conflict between wanting to be a decent host versus giving them a good time versus deciding how much is too much or too less. The hostess in me needs to have things in order and go by a certain plan; but that may definitely not be in sync with the guests I have. In trying to find this balance between making them feel comfortable versus ensuring things go smoothly, a lot of my nerves get frayed. It’s safe to say that I am not a seasoned hostess whose house and peripheral tasks run as smoothly as keeping one’s guests happy, comfortable, and satisfied. Do you experience the same anxiety too?

The first few days were ripe with trying to get it right without losing my shit. I’d already lost my shit even before we entered the house and I have no idea what my in-laws took away from that experience. *shudder* In retrospect, I think my behaviour was completely unnecessary and a defense mechanism, if you ask me. I imagined my world falling apart even before I entered it – how’s that for a good laugh? But the rough edges did smooth out as the days progressed – I got used to them and they got used to me – and somewhere down the line, we came halfway to help each other out.

More than wanting to be the best hostess (if there even is such a thing), it’s this fear of not living up to the standards I have created for myself. Things need to be in order, and under control, for me to function optimally. However, what I did learn over the past week was this obvious phrase – the tighter you hold sand, the faster it will slip away. And then it wasn’t so bad after all. :)


2 Responses to “38: Hostessing”

  1. Diya February 13, 2017 at 3:29 PM #

    I completely understand the challenge of hosting… particularly when in laws are involved :) I’m sure all went well and if nothing else, at least you have learnt a lesson or two to do even better next time :)

    • Babushka February 13, 2017 at 3:35 PM #

      Yes yes! Lots of learn, even more to share. :)


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