15: Fortunate Fifteen

15 Jan

Ooooh yeah baby, I’m so glad to be here, and to have made it to the halfway mark of this month. Speaking of which, I think it took incredibly long to get here, no? Maybe I’m still hungover from the speed of 2016, to settle in to the pace of 2017, which seems to be going slower somehow. However, I’m thankful that my mind and will held it together and didn’t fall apart at the beginning, like most journeys towards goals end up in. To those of you who are new here, I’m referring to this goal I’m working towards with some amount of earnestness and a lot of excitement. :) Irrespective of the abysmal lack of viewer/reader participation, which I’m trying not to be affected by, it’s been a rewarding 15 days so far…”write for yourself, and your goal”, is what I tell myself when I see zero comments haha! But there are some precious readers who do take the time out from their busy days to come and read, and that makes every single difference to me. Thank you, dear reader. :) Blogging becomes even more fruitful when you know you’re being read, it truly does.

I honestly didn’t have a plan or structure about this post; only that I came back after a break from writing the 14th post because I needed to soak in some much needed sun, which wasn’t going to wait for me (it really is quite cold, and sitting in the sun has been lifesaving). Nevertheless, as I began writing this post, I found what I wanted to do with it, so yay! :) Here are fifteen things; observations, learnings, insights, and thoughts; that I’ve decided to mark on my 15th post of 2017.

Kindly note: I talk/write in third person not to preach or sound preachy, but because I automatically seem to talk to my own self when I’m writing. :) You’re free to sponge this gyaan if it makes sense to you.

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A lot of my 2016 was spent in a zone of conflict. Owing, but not limited to, my experiences as a child, a considerable part of me always took the middle path; the safer one, to be precise. I always wanted to be safe and secure, maintain peace and harmony, and steer clear of dissension and disagreement as far as could. It did come at a huge cost, which I realised much later in the day. I didn’t rebel or question, disregard or break rules as a child through to adulthood. Being in the good books of authority figures gave me the validation I dearly needed; because adults know best, right? Except, when it was time to stand on my own feet, and make decisions that only I had to make, I found myself floundering…because which adult/authority was I to please, how would I get my validation if I even dared disagree with the people I’d looked up to all my life, what would I do if people were not happy with my choices? It was a trap I’d fallen into and one I still am in; and one that people know how to take advantage of. I don’t promote mindless rebellion or conflict, but steering clear from learning to agree to disagree was a mistake I’d made too many times. As a result of which, I didn’t have healthy boundaries, comprehensions, and the perception to think for myself. I’m still caught in the tangles of that web, a situation I don’t see my generation of the family facing at all, and it takes a lot of effort, grit, and thick-skinned-ness to achieve. Standing up for myself and my choices has come at the cost of isolation, judgement, and slammed doors that were shut in my face for defying the authorities that I did. But I’m beginning to feel strong about this, and very aware that my validation comes from my acts and not from pleasing people, so it only means good stuff, right?

This was a long point, and the first because I’ve been in the throes of it for sometime now. I hope the next fourteen are going to be as succinct as many of my relationships ought to be. Haha!

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Be kind to yourself. Yesterday, while sunbathing, the girlfriends and I indulged in a little conversation that ranged from cigarettes to boys, marriage to society, housework to cooking. Yes, I think we women really know how to get down to things, quickly. It was then that this concept of our core came up. Someone considered their core to be their parents and siblings; after all they’re the ones who really stand by you through hell and back. I agree with her. But to me, and I mentioned it there as well, I believe our core includes us first. Like ma says, you can only take care of things and people, if you take care of yourself first. What a lady of wisdom (and drama), this motherly of mine is. So yes, be kind to yourself. Give thanks to yourself. And love yourself.

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Take life ahead one day at a time. Maybe you knew this, and maybe I had a hint of this, but I never put it in practice because it was so obvious I thought I was doing it. Except, I wasn’t. So one day at a time is a mantra I chant before I panic.

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What your parents say isn’t and may not always be your bible. Learn to think for yourself, and act according to the situation.

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FUCK SOCIETY, baseless relationships, and whatever it is that does not work for you. Stop swimming trying to find treasures in this dead peoples’ society.

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Stop thinking, start feeling. Heart, over head. Moments, over analysis. Feels (in today’s urban jargon), over thoughts. Haha!

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Overthinking does not pay even if you’re an ace at it. Tell your mind to stfu whenever you can.

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Breathe. Deep breathe. And spoon out that junk from your system with each breath you take. Also, don’t forget to say good riddance, while you’re at it.

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Cooking has made me a calmer person, when it’s not a chore. Don’t ask me what I am when it decides to become a chore. :P

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Letting go is as easy to do, as it is to say. Just stop giving a shit about so many people, situations, and things. They really don’t know you’re giving so much of a shit about them, and I highly doubt they even care.

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Happiness is my steaming hot bath in the morning, my cup of tea peppered with titbits from the newspaper, and sunbathing, off late.

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Peace is especially overrated if it’s coming from someone else’s mouth. Find what works for you, make it happen for you, and relish it when it sweeps over you.

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Don’t fight when you’re hungry. Also, don’t go hungry when in a fight. It’s the most destructive and unnecessary ego battle. Besides, didn’t fire need fuel in the first place?

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Tandoori chicken, leftover pizzas straight from the fridge, teacakes, soups and dals, and coconut chutney are my true loves. They make me happy like spinach makes Popeye sing, literally.

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Lastly, love resides a lot in the unexpected and lesser in the expected, more in the unsaid and less in the said, more in what you might overlook and less in all that you search for it to be in. True ya. Basically, I’m learning that ruination lies in expectation. :P

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Best of the day to you! :)

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