01:00 am Finds

19 Aug

Usher popped back into my life late last night, thanks to Jimmy Fallon. It was just the right track to make me feel a bit better about the confused spot the full-mooned night put me; what with me swaying listlessly between sleeplessness and the need to follow my routine and sleep – I had already stayed up later than usual. It’s nothing fancy, except it has Usher in it; which I’m not afraid to admit, makes me feel like a teenager all over again. Not that such things help in aiding sleep, but when something comes my way, I’ve learned to take them in my stride. Do have a listen, just as I did when all around me was still, quiet and calm.


I like it; except the would you mind if I still love you bit; I mean come on! But we’ve got to give some to get some, right? This isn’t an on the loop song for me, though.

However, sleep was induced by my trusted method of reading, and so Coolie (by Mulk Raj Anand), which I’m currently in the middle of, was read.

I tried wondering why or what it was that decided to keep me awake last night but was unsuccessful in doing so. I suspect it isn’t just one thing and that the collective load of all the things I feel aren’t going as per plan, have decided to shroud me in a cloak of stress. I know because I’ve been eating more than I usually do and I know more so because eating makes me feel exponentially better, and instantly at that. Yes, a stress-eater, I am. That’s another work in progress project I’ve enforced upon myself; which I hope, will see the light of day sometime.

Yesterday was Raksha Bandhan – a popular Indian festival which celebrates the bond between siblings, reaching further out to extended family members as well, where sisters tie their brothers a thread/bracelet in return for the promise to be protected by their brothers. Or so my not so vast knowledge bank thinks. I was reminded of the many years we – my brother and I – disliked this compulsive tradition and festival in general. There is a point in time when people experience what I like to call sibling-friction, and so we had our share too. Now it has come to become one of those times when I especially want to be around my brother(s); not that one needs a special day for that sort of thing. Funny times. And how the circle of life just keeps moving — sometimes I imagine the universe laughing at us all. By the time Raksha Bandhan came along last year, I knew I was leaving. So we did have a special time; we went out, we made merry, we hung out. Stories and anecdotes were shared, laughs were had and of course, food was consumed. No photographs were clicked, fortunately and unfortunately. However, those were precious times.

I have no regrets and I’m glad I could do a lot before I left. Sometimes I feel like a sentimental fool, but it at least helped me put quite a bit on priority and focus on all the very important stuff that needed to be done, which otherwise gets put on the backburner, because hello grantedness. Rakhis were sent this year and while I felt a slight tinge of sadness, remembering last year and all the years we’ve spent in each other’s sometimes happy, sometimes crappy company, it all seemed a bit better automatically. Sometimes making memories actively and consciously is just the solution one needs.


One Response to “01:00 am Finds”


  1. As The Day Passes… | Babska's Journey - August 19, 2016

    […] …I realize that there still is so much to speak about and so much that is on my mind which I was unable to chalk out in my previous post. […]


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