MIA

2 May

April has been all over the place thanks to which I’ve been more MIA than present, here or otherwise. I frankly do not recollect all that I wanted to spill over here or all that kept my days and mind occupied. It’s the same case when people ask me what I spend my day doing; because when I look back, it’s not like I’ve done a lot. Months have gone by since I was last formally employed (because keeping a house is a tonne of work too, which I hope is recognized some day), and it still feels like all this time has slipped into thin air without many accomplishments to tag along with it.

The husband and I had our first holiday together since we got married and while that took up only a fractional chunk of April, it seems to take more space up in my mind than all the other stuff that happened. This month seems like everything was up to my neck and a lot of it was; which also makes my absence here a little more bearable and a little less heartbreaking.

From visiting family and spending time with them to spending time with mom who was here for a short bit at the end of her bi-annual trip, to taking up our very first chance at hosting my side of the family at our home to preparing for all the travel that lay ahead, to all that actual travel itself…April sure shot by quite hurriedly. When I look back, there hardly was any room to breathe or take breaks and move on to the next tasks at hand.

Our first vacation was all that a married couple’s first vacation is full of. We were on the road a lot given that this was a road trip through my husband’s home state, stopping by at places that both him and I wanted to visit; a trip very generously sprinkled with lots of drives, copious chai stops, lots of roadside eating and of course lots of madness. I love drives where the road ahead seems endless and filled with so many possibilities…except now the idea of a drive makes me think and feel differently (it’s a temporary feeling)…it was during this trip that there came a point when I couldn’t look at the road any more, where sitting in the car was a serious butt-ache and mind-sore, where motion sickness took over and made me feel powerless and so alien because I’ve never really experienced motion sickness through all my mountain trips before.

Vacations with your spouse are different from the ones you take with your family or friends – a fact I’m guessing you knew already! We are still so new to each other and still are figuring our way around each other…with moments of not knowing how the other responds or what to expect in different situations that really test us. Therefore this holiday saw a lot of trial and error, a lot of learning, a lot of ice-breaking, a lot of rough edges and a lot of effort from both sides. It couldn’t have been more real, it couldn’t have been more eye-opening, it couldn’t have been more enlightening. But we made it through and with lessons we’ve learnt about each other and ourselves too, which is comforting in its own way.

We got back and it was time for me to travel back to Bangalore, primarily for a friend’s wedding and to see another friend who will be leaving India for good, and of course, to spend time with my family and friends who are such an enriching lifeline to my very parched senses. My trip was cut short very abruptly and while I am back home now, I cannot help but feel a little cheated on the time I worked so hard and coaxed myself into not feeling guilty about taking for myself. But there are no regrets barring the fact that I didn’t get to see my brother; whom I miss so bitterly that my heart prevents me from even thinking about it.

I have been away for long and it feels like I’m still lost out there, somewhere, trying to find my way back home even though I am here and have physically arrived.

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5 Responses to “MIA”

  1. Priyanka May 3, 2016 at 2:38 PM #

    Love, love and lots more! <3 I absolutely love your last line to this blog!

    • Babushka May 3, 2016 at 3:11 PM #

      Love that you’re here, reading and commenting! Thank you. <3

  2. banteringbangalorean May 3, 2016 at 7:12 PM #

    welcome back yaatuh! here’s to an eventful May, June, July……on your blog :D

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