From Where I Stand

28 Mar

Spring has come and gone.

It’s getting hot hot hot.

Too hot to now get out for a casual stroll or even for essentials.

It seems like only I’m standing still and the rest of the world couldn’t be moving at a faster pace.

The air hangs around languorously, still almost, quieter still.

My body is slowly but surely showing signs for the need to align my diet to become more summer friendly.

I will still always be a dal chawal girl and no salad can make me feel otherwise.

Everything looks and feels very certain even in all this present uncertainty. How?

There is no grass to compare shades of its greenery to. I guess it’s a good thing.

I’m not missing Facebook. It’s been 28 days and there isn’t even a hint of wanting it just yet.

From where I stand, it looks like a path for me to walk on has been created, I’m very certain of that. What that path is or how I’m to find it, is what the grey area is. Sometimes this quest for that path leaves me sleepless, tossing about and wondering exactly where it is that I’m supposed to go. Like I said, I’ve never felt more certain in my life even when I’m steeped in my present uncertainties. It was only when I was told by my husband’s friend and his friend’s wife about how brave it really is to leave your all – job included – and just move lock, stock and barrel, did my perspectives on being so harsh on myself change. I’m not as worried about getting a job, because that’s the easy part, really. 

From where I stand today, and while so many things remain unclear, the one thing that couldn’t be more evident is the fact that I can say no to whatever it is that I do not want. Breaking off has that advantage, I’m gradually beginning to realize. When you are at a time and place where all your peers, friends and people your age are climbing the many ladders they choose to climb or are compelled to climb, the rat race suddenly seems even more urgent, more necessary even…just so there is conformity, there is a routine, there is a sense of identification.

From where I stand, it looks like everything is so still and so fast-paced simultaneously. This mind-bend, this illusion is transitory, I hope?

This quote featured on a blog which I haven’t been able to find ever since (so annoying!) made me ease up, breathe better and relax. It isn’t just a mere coincidence to come across something you need to see…there are signs everywhere, and they come to each of us when we’re too lost or too blinded to see…a belief I hold very dear to my heart…enough to find immense truth and gratitude in it.

 Learning: Look straight ahead. Wear blinkers to alleviate your blindness.

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