Current Priorities

24 Mar
  • Reminding myself that priorities change; sometimes every single day on a need of the hour basis…egoistically selfish, asking me to leave what I thought were more important priorities for the ones that are more current and demanding of my attention, time, effort, and of course love. Meh. Nope, that cannot be a luxury any more.
  • Trying to be a little more accommodating of these ginormous domestic reptiles that are slowly but very surely making themselves present – lizards. I don’t like them for countless reasons, I’m intolerant of them for many more (thank you for feeding my intolerance, dear fear). Like I was telling my husband the other day, and as are the features of a phobia, I’m irrationally scared of the fact that they will come flying at me from wherever they are. See? Irrational is the key word here. I don’t like them in my space, I mean them no harm and I know they mean me no harm and are in fact, doing me a favour by devouring the many creepy crawlies that could actually harm me…but no…the fear that these creatures will glide towards me and I don’t know…perhaps swat me with their tails or get stuck on me forever or whatever else it is, is petrifying. (Clearly I don’t know how this intended attack is to happen or what its intention is) You will find me staring at a lizard instead of doing my work just so I can maybe outsmart it when it does decide to fly at me. Yes, this fear is irrational and I’m working on it because summer’s just around the corner and we know they do not hibernate at that time. Thankfully, I know how to handle this situation and deal with reducing these sorts of fears. (Thank you, psychology!)
  • Learning how to say no without feeling like I have destroyed a large part of myself or the person I may say no to. It’s so easy to be able to advise people on things but equally challenging to endure the same. It is so easy to say no, except when it comes to a lot of the big stuff. I’m in the midst of looking out for a job and this is when the concept of saying no to things I do not want for myself becomes so prominent. No, I do not want xyz. No, I don’t think this will work for me. No, I will consider this when the time is right. Just saying no with an ease that speaks volumes of what one wants and what one doesn’t want. Which leads me to the next priority…
  • Figuring out what I want and do not want – in life, in my career, in my relationships, on my pizza. Oh boy, that’s tough and so rough!
  • Understanding that not being in control at all times is not going to make my boat sink in this sometimes rocky and mostly unpredictable sea called life. It’s a lot of hard work, being the control freak that I am.
  • Finding ways to not get immersed in colour today…weaving complicated and wet-blanketed half truths just so I can escape that smear. It reminds me of the times I’ve had to escape from my brother who is notorious for this sort of stuff and how his friends find the choicest excuses to prevent him from smearing cake cream on their face during birthdays. Pimples, skin allergies, rashes…so passe now, no?
  • Finding my feet and finding them fast so I can do the many things that I’m here to do. Do you believe you’re on this planet, in this universe for a certain purpose? I’m one of those who does believe in that sort of stuff…therefore the pressure is sometimes insurmountable because time never waits and omg it’s already a quarter of 2016 down.
  • Earning money. My bank balance has never faced a drought like it presently is. Depleting resources past the red mark are just annoying. And scary. And yet I’m taking my sweet time to figure what it is that I want. Brilliant no?

These are in no particular order, naturally. However, they are my priorities today and who knows, they may not feature on my next list of priorities. Survival of the fittest every frikkin where.

Have yourselves a lovely, colourful and very safe Holi, folks!

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One Response to “Current Priorities”

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  1. The Day After Holi | Babska's Journey - March 25, 2016

    […] my mind, and like I’d mentioned here, I was prepared to hide, run away, make excuses… I had decided to do it the way I knew it and […]

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