The Half Mark

30 Jun

And that’s a wrap, Q2. That’s six months of the year over and out, never to return again. And my heart skipped a beat just as I typed and read that out in my head. Only because it suddenly hit me that time is flying away, never to return. We seldom look at it that way; not when we’re at this phase, so busy caught up doing everything we’re so sure we’ll do tomorrow, and the day after. I doubt we have that giant clock stationed right in front of us, or maybe we do and are nonchalantly ignorant or blissful about it for now.

It reminds me of the many conversations my friends and I have been having off late especially. Perhaps nearing one’s 30s is the new 20 because we often marvel at how or where we’re cruising at that makes us feel not a day older than 20. I have no idea which carpet ride we’re on because everything feels almost the same as it was back then – except it has gotten easier to put on weight, harder to lose it and people think we need skincare creams, albeit “beginner” ones, among other age-related signs we see on an off. It’s just when someone brings in the measurable construct of time do we stop dead in our tracks and give it a moment’s silence. It then puts things into perspective, especially when you graduated double-digit years ago and when you look at your pictures from college (days of Masters included) when you thought you’d finally outgrown the awkward (and horrendous, might I add) signs of adolescence written all over your face and style only to realize that you look different now; different in the “grown up” sort of way. Have you noticed that in the pictures you see of yourself or your friends? There’s something more refined, more seasoned, more tempered in our features now. Or am I being too flattering? And no, I’m not referring to the fact that a lot of us now wear lipstick because wearing lipstick, in my honest, not-so-fashion-conscious opinion, makes one look older in a way that shiny/glossy lip balms and lip glosses don’t. So that’s my two cents on fashion, if you wish.

However, post stopping dead in our tracks which thankfully is but a fleeting moment I hope remains that way forever, we move on and go back to being just as we were before being reminded of graduation, colleges and skincare creams. It’s a blessing for now. Or I see it as one, because how scary would it be to look back and realize that you’ve passed almost 3 decades that are never coming back to you again, in terms of time and just what that could mean when you take time for what it is and what that amount of time can make us do/become/achieve. That is scary. But we’re not there yet. Not now when half of 2015 is at its dusk. Not anytime soon, I really do hope.

Maybe it’s because we’re at the crux, or at the midst of two so-called developmental milestones – that of having finished our education and armed with a job and that of getting married. Maybe this is the time we have to let go and enjoy the fruits of young adulthood before we enter new phases; at the childhood of pure, unadulterated adulthood as it were. It’s safe, it’s comfortable and it’s relatively less demanding than what could lie ahead. Or this is me raking up an entirely new tangent of what I’ve begun calling “over-thoughts”. Clearly, the one thing that has changed apart from my body’s width is an increased difficulty in just living in the moment. Because someone normal would in fact embrace and celebrate the fact that they don’t care how old they look, feel or actually are. But I’m keeping this tangent aside and going ahead with the carpet ride. I remember beginning my year believing in the absolute power of letting go, and so here I am, at the halfway mark of 2015, letting go and undoing my hair in the process.

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2015, you’ve been intriguing beyond my wildest imagination, yet. Let’s see what you have in store next and exactly how many laughter lines you mark our eyes with; though countless I hope they may always be. Hopefully you will guide us well and show us how to be as young as numbers show us not. May you continue on your journey and take us along, spreading us like carefree grains not trapped by the fear of being contained or measured. Lastly, I hope you give us the perseverance to live life like we should, with our paths dotted by milestones we choose to sketch as and when we decide to seal pieces of our journeys along your marvelous road. Give us faith and your reassuring hand to hold.

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Adios, half of 2015. Be kind and patient with us till the end, please. :)

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2 Responses to “The Half Mark”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Precipice | Babska's Journey - September 3, 2015

    […] I wrote a post about being completely oblivious of my age and our so called aging process. It was here that I spoke about how my friends and it feel like we’re not a day older than 20 because of […]

  2. Time Bubble | Babska's Journey - January 14, 2016

    […] was here and here that I wrote about this weird time warp sort of contraption that I’m floating […]

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