On Layers And Answers

16 Oct

Dear You,

Why are there always so many comparisons, so many layers, so many digressions? Of course this is a silly question if you really look at it because, in the human realm of living, it’s almost like asking why we breathe or eat or live, for that matter. Some questions have too many answers to fathom comprehension of any kind. Perhaps that’s the best part about it; that everyone finds their own answers and moves on. As long as we comprehend and get to the end of what we seek to look out for.

It baffles me how we cannot just live by the ways we would want to and why we tend to conform to what the “world” thinks is “normal”. My most recent example would be of traveling alone and the entire (in my honest opinion) overrated experience that the world and its so called “free”, “independent” and “forward-thinking” folks have decided it to be.

Yes, it does have its facets; facets that perhaps help us all decide who we really are and what we’re really made up of. I’m a firm believer of the spiritual power that traveling is made up of. And that’s how I choose to experience my travels as well. It was just last week that I had to travel alone and so I did. And while it was an enriching experience through and through, the one prominent feeling I couldn’t shake off was the feeling of being alone. Alone for real. Alone where you make decisions by yourself alone. Alone where you’re not accountable to anybody alone. Alone where you can do what you please, when you please alone. Alone where you look within and feel lonely alone. Alone where you question why people would want to do this alone. I felt so many types of aloneness. Sometimes it was good. But for most others, it was saddening. It was scary in a I don’t want to be this alone or feel this alone kind of scariness.

It brought me back to the entire concept of why we digress from the things we want to do and the people we want to be. It makes me question why we do things to experience a fear of not knowing and try so hard to fit in this conformity than choose plain simple happiness in the things we want to do. It makes me wonder why we’ve allowed the world to make us believe it’s brilliant to travel alone. It makes me wonder why we create so many digressions and layers and complexities that eventually become such a part of us that if we don’t follow suit, we feel breathless in a I’ve never done anything cool in my life kind of way.

There’s no wonder we’re always comparing and so confused and so unhappy. Because what else does one feel when the essence of one’s life has been set by people who probably won’t ever feature in one’s life or who will never really be you or me? So what if all I ever want to do is be traveled with, be dined with and be lived life with? There’s no denying the experience of traveling alone, at least once. Because I wouldn’t have had the chance to see this side of me that I thought never existed. Perhaps the one-off experience is mandatory necessary to help us realize the air we want to breathe, the life we want to live, the people we want to be.

And maybe then we can form our own essence of the people we’ve carefully decided to be, through unabashed experiences. Maybe then we’ll really be who we want to be and feel the freedom of transparency and clarity. Maybe then we’ll experience the magic of letting go and finding the places that we know belong to you and me. Because there’s no point in chipping away at ourselves to try and fit in to places we know aren’t for us. But there’s a space for us all and there are as many answers to that one single question that burns to be answered. It’s just that we’ve to find our own code that fits, our own answer that sets us free.

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