18 Mar

IMG_9306 IMG_9307 IMG_9308I feel like I’m stuck in some weird sort of continuum whose pace I can’t discern. It’s like time’s both flying and taking its sweet time to cruise along. Do you feel that way sometimes? It’s confusing. But I think the storm of the past few weeks, while still existent, is slowly showing signs of retreating. I only hope it makes its way out asap.

In the meanwhile, through these ups and downs, there have been constant reminders to guide and show me that I’m here because I’m here for a reason; that I’m here because there’s something I’ve done or not done, something I’ve said or not said, something I’ve felt or not felt that has brought me to where I am. While I do believe in the forces of destiny and fate, I don’t belong to the school of thought that overrides human contribution or the power of it to take you places. It helps believing that you can make a difference, that you’re a spoke in this ginormous wheel, irrespective of how minute or visible.

Life’s this journey, or so I see it to be. Sometimes you really just want to stop and take a look around or walk the detour. Everyone travels, but everyone sees different things. We’re all walking the walk in our way and sponging off that which we know gives us the elixir to move forward. Or go back and get more. The other day, I had the most pleasant of surprises when I got a call from a number I couldn’t recognize, and from a person whose voice I couldn’t initially recognize. The caller turned out to be my first mentor in my world of work, and now a friend, as we walked the journey of my first job, together.

It’s strange how you reconnect with people who were such an important part of your everyday life. It’s strange how the world has these most incredible ways of reminding you just what you’re blessed with. And it was something he said that, quite literally, floored me. There are no reasons to get in touch with something or someone that/who makes you feel good. Or who reminds you of the times that you’d never want to trade for the world. It was such a subtle and strong message. There’s so much beauty in reconnecting; in remembering those who really matter.

2014 has been such a roller coaster ride already. I’m half scared, half excited to see what the year still holds because the first three months have felt like I’ve journeyed to the moon and back. It’s been emotional, stressful and so bitter-sweet. There have been a lot of adjustments, a lot of breakups, a lot of re-learning that has taken place. It’s been insane. It’s been all about tackling one wave after the other. It’s also been an enlightening time; more so about my own self than about those I may have lost or gained through this period.

It matters to let go. It matters to not fight every single change that comes your way. It matters to just believe in yourself. There’s a power in independence, a new-found meaning that’s helped put things in perspective. You’re only ever really free of everything you want to be free of when it doesn’t matter any more; when you know you can clean that slate any which way you desire or make room for more writing. It helps to have these bitter-sweet experiences because how else will you ever know what it feels like to soar? That’s how I choose to see it because I like that blinding sunlight in my face; whether I choose to keep my eyes open or close. I like knowing that I can rise and face it all. Sunchaser, that’s who I am. :)

It’s a powerful feeling. Here’s staying with this feeling and powering through. Have a lovely Tuesday.


2 Responses to “Sunlight”

  1. Ram Iyer March 18, 2014 at 6:37 PM #

    Sublime expression of a myriad emotional detours! Brilliant. Can’t say more. You leave me tongue-tied with your writing.



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