Change

27 Feb

It has (finally?) come to my senses that change is inevitable. Not that I didn’t know of its existence or of its tricks. It’s just that change sprung in that surprise element in my life from nowhere (well that’s what it’s all about, anyway). Though it still surprises me (and will continue to do so), I’m trying to not let that element of surprise get the better of me. Today has been a day that’s shown me just what change really is capable of. It’s been an overwhelming day at work with change swishing its wand all over the place.

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We’re also shifting offices, in that, we’re moving. I don’t think that requires an enunciation of the change that will sweep over us all. Not that we need to physically move in order to see what will ensue. It’s in the air and has been in the air for a while. It reeks of change. Of course with every deviation in a path, there lies speculation, thought, expectation and possibility: change, change, change. This is just one small example of the change that’s been such a constant feature everywhere. And somewhere down the line, I asked myself what would happen if I just let those reins go. It’s hard for a control freak, you know?

I think I mentioned it here, in this post, sometime back…of the need to let go and stop fighting. To keep fighting change, to be in control every single time is so exhausting. You control freaks out there, you know what I’m talking about.

And so I’m trying really hard. I’m trying to let go. I’m trying not to let the universe’s way overcome me and drown me. I’m trying to let it all exist by my side…I’m really trying to do the balance thing here and see how that goes.

It makes me feel rather calm and perhaps even makes me a better person. Maybe it’s because I’ve stopped caring or because it feels so darn good to just.let.go and do your own thing while the universe does its own thing. Peaceful coexistence is my new mantra. Of course, this doesn’t mean I’ve become a vegetable or have become ignorant/passive towards everything. We weren’t born passive, neither were we meant to be passive and passive just isn’t my style. But this new scheme works. However, knowing myself, it’s only a matter of time till we know how long something as idealistic as letting go for a control freak it takes to not drive them even more crazy than they already are.

Moving on to happier stuff, I’ve finally managed to finish reading my second book for the year: The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri. I’m chuffed that I’ve finished two books this year. It’s a miracle. Yes, I’m pathetic. I just happened to buy this book because I entered a book shop and of course it’s against the law to leave a book and/or stationery store empty handed. I like having options even though I may read just a percentage of the books I own. It’s a weird book lover’s quirk. I’m sure you have it too. I’m sure you have books piled up and piling up still, all of which you haven’t read. Yes, we were born to meet for a reason. :)

So I bought this and kept it in my book almirah. Then I bought other books and kept them in the almirah too. Then I bought a book at the airport because I had to, even though I can seldom never read on a plane. The constant background whirring of the engines and the book, combined with the AC and the warmth from the window make me doze and I’m really particular about my so called ladylike image (yes, we’re all allowed to have pretend personas). I cannot imagine dozing or passing out on a stranger’s shoulder. It just won’t do. Reading on trains, however, is something I look forward to (once I can’t look out of the window anymore, i.e.).

The Lowland was an easy read and wasn’t too heavy. It didn’t take me much time to read. I always enjoy Indian authors and I always enjoy the diaspora. However, no matter how beautiful her style of writing and storytelling, I thought the book was okay. Maybe I’m in that phase where I want something positive, encouraging and something on the lines of happily ever after (ah, some people never grow up). I stopped reading Unaccustomed Earth because it depressed me. Some part of one of the short stories made me feel sad. And so I kept it aside. This wasn’t very positive either. And while we know life’s quite the bitch, I think I’m in a zone which makes me want a happy ending at the end, cliches apart.

And so I decided I’d pick a lighter book to read and guess what I picked.

IMG_8874 Talk about being crazy. Talk about wanting something light. Clearly I’ve got my genres right.

Anyhoo, I’ve never read him. I’ve heard a lot about him. I look forward to reading him. Let’s see if I can hold on to him. And if it’s more than what my mind can handle at the moment, you aren’t allowed to judge me for being incapable of finishing a very light (weight) novel.

Oh. And this book is much older than I am. I mean the book, not the novel. And so its pages are like this. And that makes me feel immensely happy and satisfied. Needless to say, I’ve sniffed the pages countless times already and thankfully no silverfish have scurried into my nose. Here’s the book lover quirk 71238.

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And I’ve got this to keep me company today evening. A missed lunch equals going all out for a snack. There’s butter and there’s alcohol involved. That’s my take on “healthy”. And tackling change. ;) :)

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Sorry for the unlimited/brash use of ‘and’ in my sentences. I have studied grammar as a separate subject and I can’t promise I’ll stop, irrespective of my so called educational credentials. It’s a disease. :)

Have a lovely evening.

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One Response to “Change”

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  1. Mirages, Walls and Magic | Babska's Journey - March 1, 2014

    […] ← Change […]

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