Saturday Conversations

6 Apr

It’s been one of those completely lazy Saturdays; the kinds that have you padding around your apartment in boxer shorts (did I tell you how much a part of my life they are?) doing absolutely nothing in a total dolce far niente way. Come to think of it, a lot of my posts are about just that – dolce far niente. And here goes another one. Now you know how I love spending my weekends; doing absolutely nothing and feeling deliciously happy about it.

Anyway, what I expressed there would seem ideal and too good to be true because there’s always something to do even at home. And I’m the kinda person who gets these irritating and totally unwelcome voices in her head if she knows she has stuff to do around the house and procrastinates more than she can. I mean there’s a limit to how much one can procrastinate. Apparently. I never knew that till these voices refused to go. And now the voices are telling me to continue with the post. So yeah, I obviously had some things to do at home, the most important one being cleaning Fuzzy and Poppins’ cages. So clean them, I did. Leave the trays out to dry, I did. Admire my handiwork, of course I did! And then all of a sudden and from nowhere, I heard a voice that called out to me and said,

“Hey miss, that’s some crazy chore you did right there and wow did you do a good job!”. I checked to see if I had been spoken to by the voices in my head but they were having their fun summer Saturday siesta and man were they out or what?

I carried on looking at the prettiness that were the plants in my balcony and thought about how it was turning out to be exactly the kind of Saturday I wanted and hadn’t had in the longest time. And then I heard it again.

“You’re rude, miss. You didn’t even acknowledge me or the compliment I just paid your handiwork!”. I swirled around and look who I found!

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OMG, a praying mantis was having a conversation with me! I figured it would be best to scoot, close the balcony doors and pretend like there were no creepy crawly praying mantises in my balcony. But he just gave me the blankest look a praying mantis could ever throw my way. I have to give him some credit for that. Look at him!

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On second thought, I think he was giving me the where do you think you’re going look. Who thought praying mantises could threaten a simple human being such as me with just a look? Anyway, I prepared to listen to a different set of voices that had begun a mini agitation in my head; the kind of voices that create havoc in the head of a lizard fearing girl who chances upon a lizard.

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“You’re really going?”, he asked, just as I was ready to scoot, scamper and scurry to the safety of my sofa.

(By the way, don’t you think he’s wearing the coolest stockings ever?)

I thought I heard a sniffle. I thought I saw a tear.

I looked at him and he pleaded. He even had his antennae down. He really seemed harmless.

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He said sweet things to me and said I was the nicest human ever and that he just wanted to spend a bit of his afternoon talking to a stranger because that was his kinda thing.

So I figured it wouldn’t be as bad to say hello, smile him a polite smile, offer him a leaf perhaps and then maybe scoot, scurry and scamper.

So we talked. And before I knew it, we’d spoken about the summer, world peace, global warming, pestilent pests (we changed that subject sooner than I’d have liked), the fruit flies that have made the cages their fortress and of course how honourable it is to have strange conversations with stranger praying mantises/humans.

Then his phone rang. Turns out he was summoned to get back to his worldly duties.

I told him it was a pleasure and that if he wanted he could stay a few more minutes because we still had UFOs to talk about.

He said he’d love to but that he had to report for his secret mission right about now.

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And so just like that, he took off and flew his praying mantis wings away into the horizon.

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I decided to tell the pigs about this stranger but Poppins was more interested in his carrot and Fuzzy took absolutely no time to put on her you-don’t-love-me-anymore-because -you-have-new-people-to-photograph face. And she made no bones about the fact that she was having a messy Saturday and that it was probably all my fault because I neglected her and didn’t care about her enough. She refuses to wash the carrot stains off. She says that should teach me a lesson or two about dividing my attention ever again.

*sigh* who ever said pets couldn’t be demanding or possessive?

:)

PS, if you find the photographs to be blurred it’s because I don’t fancy being anywhere near praying mantises, forget photographing them as a hobby. Consider this a one-off act, a time when great bravery and courage was shown on my behalf. :P

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