12 Apr
I’m done with all the bullshit! I’m done being nice and courteous! I’m done being the farce we call “good manners”. 


I’m volatile and I will be volatile. I am choosy, picky and finicky and I will damn well be choosy, picky and finicky. And let’s just see what anyone has to say about my so called code of conduct


I’m tired of all this drama and niceness and politeness and what not. And for someone who is stuck in this vortex of a kazillion pressures from all over – life, family, career, choices, ambitions, needs, relationships, “settling down” – life feels like nothing but a bucket of never ending crap. Do this, do that, no don’t do this, why did you not take this up? are you crazy? what are you doing with your life? you are so capable! you could’ve done this, you this that and the other! Ugh. 


I love this phase of life – early adulthood – where all one thinks about is what one wants to do with life, what one wants to become – personally and professionally, who one chooses to date, where to head the next weekend, when to go drinking and have a mad effing time, when to just paint the town bright red and so on. What a fun phase of life! New and regular doses of income come crashing in and it’s time to have fun and live life and not really think about who?what?where?when? and the many questions that entail “growing up” and “settling down”. But I’m also slowly (and at a pretty quick rate) beginning to despise this phase because of the pressures it brings with it. And what tops the list? Career. And a handsome groom somewhere in the horizon. It suddenly feels like there’s so much to think about and do which you haven’t been doing which makes you feel stupid and perhaps frustrated! And the awareness that you’re not growing any younger is just the icing on the cake.


Ugh. I need a mental break. I need that drink or two or three or four.
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